as some of you may know i had recently fallen prey to trolls constantly commenting bullshit on my page. saying the internet's most famous joke "your gay". seriously is the internet just full of homophobic skin heads and rednecks? the only thing stopping me from thinking this is the fact that rednecks are too stupid to work a computer and skinheads are well... also too stupid to work a computer. but i digress, i have chosen to post my most liked review of the 2009 Japanese film "machine girl".
"machine girl", oh my fucking god this movie is ridiculous! prolly by far the most retarded movie i have seen in my entire life, but at the same time its the coolest movie i have ever seen in my entire life. just try to watch this movie with a straight face, you cant fuckin do it! there is so much gore, more than i have seen in a movie, it actully discusts me a little nd that rarely happens.
so anyways the movie was written and directed by Noboru Iguchi, and stars Minase Yashiro as Ami (machine girl). the opening of this movie sets the tone that this movie is not in any instence normal. machine girl breaks up some bullies trying to beat dude a nerd and fucking destroys them!! no you have no idea she rips thease guys apart. first using a small syth, but shortly after she puts on a giant machine gun right on her nub of an arm. and as you can imagin fucking blows guys heads off!
well the story is pretty much thrown to the side as you can expect but its about a how ami's brother is being bullied by the son of a yakuza boss that also happens to be a ninja. wow... typing that out really makes me relize how dumb this premise really is. but the yakuza son kills her brother. and ami wants revedge, a very cliche premis but fuck it its about the action. ami trys to hunt down his brothers killers be talking to the perants of a boy she suspects may have helped in the murder. and then the weirdest scene happens. the suspected kids dad just goes fucking ape shit and tries to kill her. like what the fuck man she didnt do shit you can do that! but no thats not it, then the mom joins in and ends up burning amis arm and it ends up looking like big birds dick from sesimi street. after this ami relizes that shits goin down and starts her killing spree. killing the mom and boy she continues on to the yakuza house hold were the bully lives. she walks in on a chef being punished by making him eat his owen fingers. fucking brillent. she trys to kill the bully then ends up getting captured and her arm cut off. but she escapes and finds herself at an autobody shop were the mother of a child that was also killed by the bully. the mother trains her to fight and her husband creates a machine gun for her to use.
well basicly ill leave it at that because i dont want to give spiolers but this movies i FUCKING retarded!. it is so so stupid it makes little to no sense and... and.... its fucking FUCKING AWESOME! its so inspired by anime but what works in anime does not work in live action when trying to be serious. but "machine girl" just says fuck it! lets make stupid poses, lets make blood stray 12 feet from the neck whole, lets make crazy wepons like chainsaw arms, a katana throwing star, gloves with guns on them, a little cage with a chain that rips peoples heads off, and my favorit the DRILL BRA! lets make ninjas in adidas track suits, and lets make a girl with a interchangeable machine gun arm kill a shit ton of bad guys! this is a bad movie. but for me its a guilty pleasure. if you like gore and can could use a laugh, see this movie!MACHINE GIRL gets 6 drill bras out of 10
